Smells like midlife spirit..
Right. So here we are. Middle aged. Hot. Angry. Jolly good.
This whole thing started with what I can only describe as violence in a cup.
A lukewarm, beigey cup of bitter nonsense grumpily slammed down by someone much younger than me. As the coffee spilled over the sides I could tell it wasn’t what I ordered.
The look of the barista could have killed, so I accepted the cup anyway and gratefully took a sip. I’ll deal with the dairy fallout later.
It’s bitter. The milk is burned. No amount of sweeteners is fixing it.
I think my soul was packing up to actually leave my body.
At this point I’ve been awake approximately four hours. I’ve gotten my kids up and dropped at their respective schools, the dog is sorted, the house isn’t a shambles, and I’m on my way to work.
After a night of broken sleep, a well made coffee woulda been the fix.
But apparently today was the day that the cool, edgy barista who definitely hates me and cannot in the slightest relate to my hormonal crisis was in no mood either.
I feel the rage coursing through my veins.
Over a coffee.
I’ve had plenty of bad coffees in my life. Why was I so particularly affected by this one?
I’ll tell you.
It wasn’t just a coffee. It was the final insult in a morning of emotional labour, broken sleep, and a body that now treats dairy like an enemy.
It’s the damned menopause.
It’s super great that we’re talking more about this phase of life. But it’s more than just night sweats and brain fog.
Because it’s a spectrum, some people barely notice it while others are wiped out by a wrath of symptoms that hit like hormonal acid rain.
But did you know, there are over 100 possible menopause symptoms. ONE. HUNDRED. You’d think with that kind of impact we’d get a badge or a parade. Or at the very least, better coffee.
Sadly, it wasn’t to be today. Now, if only I could guarantee a day free of sensory betrayal in the form of clothes tags and synthetic fibres, perhaps we could turn a corner.
Remember, if you’re menopause symptoms are really kicking your ass, go talk to your GP about it. The patches and gel can be hard to get hold of but I have it on very good authority that they work a charm. And if there is a thing that we are able to use that can make us feel better, why would we not?
The group chat IS the village.
They say it takes a village to raise a child. But when you're working full time, the village often ends up looking like a solid ECE, an understanding boss, and a few deeply committed group chats.
As we get older, our group chat names evolve from pregnancy and parenting themes to oddly specific ones like “Netball Mums 2022,” and now (in my case) “Social Girlies,” because my kids are older and I finally have time to do fun things with the friends who’ve been there through it all.
We usually have multiple chats running at once, often with the exact same people but wildly different vibes.
And between juggling work, home, weird medical symptoms, mental health wobbles, teenagers, dogs, ageing parents, and the existential dread of deciding what’s for dinner, the group chat is doing some serious emotional heavy lifting.
But before WhatsApp chat groups, we had Facebook communities. They would start, then someone would post something hideous, several people would lose their shit over it, and a new side group would quietly form in the aftermath.
This month, one of my Facebook groups is celebrating ten years of existence.
Ten years!
It’s a phenomenal achievement!
We don’t catch up that often in person, but when there’s a crisis, the stops are firmly pulled out.
As a group we have experienced several bouts of cancer - of course, we wouldn’t be a group of 50 to escape that! Births, deaths, relocations. Our kids turning into teenagers, families going pear shaped, divorce, marriage, child illness - everything from a persistent cold to multiple hospital admissions.
In 2025, and for ten years prior to that, this has been my village.
It’s a little chaotic. It’s occasionally inappropriate. But it’s real and has saved lives.
So no, it’s not the village we thought we were getting. It’s the one we built ourselves.
Yes, we have friends and family and connections outside of this, but this place we have is our line of defence. It doesn’t matter that we don’t get to see each in person very often. When something’s going down, good or bad, our digital village shows up, tea emojis, solid advice and everything else.
And that’s kind of better.
In other news, did you know..
This weekend is Cuba Dupa! It’s Wellington’s best ever street party and there’s lot happening to see and do. I particularly like how stores get involved like Preloved Charlies which is holding kitten cuddle sessions on 29th from 10-1pm. If that isn’t a Wellington vibe, then I don’t know what is.
If you’ve spent any length of time in London, you’ll know Pret’s coffee deal was a good one. Now that ended last year much to the dismay of its fans of a cheap coffee. However, Wellington’s Eva Garage has just started up a monthly coffee subscription of unlimited coffees for $70 a month!
Most of you agreed with my firm, this is the hill award of best cheese scone to go to Pickle and Pie. However, I wish to highlight Swimsuit just up the lane, does a bloody wonderful long black, and the people who work there are so kind and wonderful. Go there! You’ll have a nice time!
Thanks for reading! I appreciate the time you spend here, and I hope this gave you a laugh or, at the very least, a reason to shirk your responsibilities and sign up for a lie down instead of some other meaningless crap. Future issues will be about general life stuff with humour, honesty, and a good portion of “I can’t be arsed.”
Reply to this newsy if you want to get in touch, or fire me an email direct to loudoreilly@gmail.com
Lou xx
Thank you, I really enjoyed the read ✨
I love your writing. Thanks Lou x