Ask me how I know the population density of Poland. It’s 124 people per square kilometre. But ask me how I know.
This is how ADHD works. It’s not “oh look, a squirrel”. I think pretty much everyone would say that if they spotted a squirrel.
So I’m scrolling TikTok and I’m hooked on just how stoked the Emirates cabin crew are to get their first case with their uniform and stuff in it.
They all do an unboxing, explaining everything as they go and the joy is like Christmas. One video showed us where the laundry is and how they get their exquisite uniform cleaned and did you know they can also get personal items cleaned at the same laundry place, but they have to pay for that.
Another does GRWM videos which I’ve since learned is “get ready with me”. Here’s one for reference. And I just love how confident this person is to do a full face of make up while in their uniform! It’s wild. Every day I spill makeup on myself. EVERY DAY.
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Anyway, this content creator - Mia, was talking about all the wonderful places they get to visit on their days off and Poland was one of them. A great country, Mia had a wonderful time, did lots of shopping. Cool.
For a neurotypical person, that would surely be enough. To perhaps watch some of Mia’s TikTok, hear that Poland was cool, and then scroll on.
Not me. And probably not anyone else with ADHD.
And so the google search starts off fairly innocuously. Poland shopping. Poland nightlife. And the next minute, literally, it’s 47 minutes later and I’ve found out so much about Poland, I would nail pretty much any Stuff Quiz question on it.
It’s harmless really. But the thing that annoys me, is that I actually know when I’m about to go down a rabbit hole of information seeking. I’m totally conscious of this behaviour, but I can’t stop. I tell myself that the thing I was doing before, or the thing on my to do list that I definitely have to do today, now, you know, instead of “researching Poland”, that other thing can wait, or be done later. That would probably be fine, but this thing called object permanence that many ADHD people suffer from, means that things out of site are definitely out of mind, especially when exciting, dopamine filled internet searches on Poland are taking centre stage.
And you know what, this is just one of the things that challenges people with ADHD. It’s not just mild distraction. It’s brain fog. It is completely forgetting something important and for that thing to flash in your brain with abrupt urgency in an inconvenient time. It’s the worry that the important thing that flashed in your brain, will disappear and be forgotten again. And so we hang on to that important thing. Jiggling in our seat, waiting for a nearly appropriate time to blurt the thing out so that someone else can remember it.
I often get teased at work and other places for not offering context with a statement. Honestly, the context missing for ADHD people isn’t because we’ve already had half the conversation in our heads, it’s because our brain is operating so fast, it’s already moving on to the next five things and there simply isn’t enough ram to offer context for the thing that needs to get out.
We’re very tired.
Having a brain running as fast as it does is like running a perpetual marathon. And so when the we hit the wall and need to do absolutely nothing, it’s not laziness. It’s zero capacity to function unless there is a literal fire under us.
There are positives of ADHD. Don’t get me wrong there. Failing fast in business is a good trait for ADHD people. Getting over things really quickly. Not being able to hold a grudge because we have genuinely forgotten why we were pissed off in the first place.
Moving on.
I’m in a constant state of reinvention with this Substack. If you check it out on desktop you’ll see it looks a bit like a website with tabs up the top.
All the content I’ve ever written still remains on the main page, but if you hate it when I waffle on about an inedible lipstick, or are bored to tears when I share the science behind a healthy habit, you can just click on the tab that makes sense to you and just see that content. Amazing huh! There’s a business section for anyone wanting a piece of my 20+ year business brain. If you’re subscribed for the health stuff, the fitness stuff etc, especially for beginners - then hop over to the health tab (I can’t remember what I called it now) and you’ll just see stuff related to that.
The idea is that once a week I’ll send a round up of content I’ve written, things I’ve read and other things that amused me like this Substack note I read today:
It sucks to suck. What a great retort to anyone annoying. Especially for a five year old. Out of the mouths of babes, eh.
Thanks for your time this week. I hope you got some value or entertainment from my newsletter. You can get in touch by replying to this email, or be a member of the four tops and reach out to lou@sweatypals.nz.
Till next time,
Lou xxx
Oh I relate to this sooooo much! Thanks for sharing Lou ❤️
"It’s the worry that the important thing that flashed in your brain, will disappear and be forgotten again." OMG this is it. This is why you have to google Poland shopping (or whatever) RIGHT NOW even when you're on deadline because what if the thought in your head never comes back?
I'm on a waiting list for an assessment, and relate to so much of this. Thank you.