I don't want to lean in, I want to lie down.
Preferably with a cup of tea.
Guess who’s back, back again..
It’s been a year give or take. I thought that by reducing everything I love doing, I would have more time for the things I deemed to be more important, thus become less overwhelmed.
But the past year didn’t play out that way at all.
On reflection, I was burned out and unwell, and I needed to do more of the things that sparked joy, not less. Go figure.
And I love writing.
Sometimes the words are nonsense.
But sometimes they are really good and useful and people like reading them. So I’m coming back to indulge in this joyful part of my life. Why not.
You can expect more of the same unhinged rants as before. Maybe a touch more, with the ol’ pause causing some extra mayhem. I want to talk about the C-word at some stage, too.
If you immediately ask yourself, “Which one?” you are my people, and I am yours.
Even though I have changed the title to' My Back is Sore and Other Stories, ’ you can find everything I’ve ever written at www.louoreilly.nz. Some of it is truly whack.
Let’s crack on.
On leaning in.
We are coming up 12 or so years since Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In came out.
Do you know the book I’m talking about? It’s okay if you don’t. The target audience was privileged corporate girlies, so if that’s not you (like it isn’t me), it might have flown under your radar.
Regardless, I’ve been thinking about that book and how women were encouraged to hustle hard to be taken seriously at work.
How have we fared since then? Did the hustle pay off? Are you bossing it up large?
Or did you read the book, lean all the way in… and then fall over?
Because from where I’m sitting, it feels like women leaned in, hard.
But the system didn’t.
It didn’t do what we thought it would, and now we have a bunch of women who are not just burned out and exhausted but also dealing with complex anxiety disorders, raging menopause symptoms, and, would ya look at that, a queue for the ADHD doctor a mile long.
Maybe leaning in was never the answer. Maybe the problem wasn’t us. Maybe the real issue was that we were told to work harder in a system never built for us.
So if we’re done leaning in.. now what?
We could keep pushing, keep trying to prove ourselves, keep showing up to things that drain the life out of us.
Or maybe it’s time to admit we’re done.
Not with everything, obviously. We still have bills to pay. But maybe it’s time to stop handing over our energy like it’s unlimited.
Yes, this relates to work. But it is also about home life, social life, and all the invisible labour we’ve been conditioned to take on.
What if we stopped saying yes to every little thing thrown our way?
What if we actually cut the crap and started spending our limited energy on things that serve us - the people we love, causes we care about, rather than random obligations that do nothing but drain us?
The system never leaned in for us. Maybe it’s time to lean out and take our energy with us.
In other news, did you know..
The NZ Art Show (client) is happening in Wellington on King’s Birthday weekend from 30th May to 1st June. It’s the longest-standing and biggest art show in the country celebrating 22 years! So if you enjoy arty things, grab a $5 early bird ticket here.
A year ago, support for the disabled community was cut, and the impact has been brutal. Emily Writes wrote this piece—it’s harrowing and grim, but you need to read it.
The ceasefire in Palestine is over. If you want to help, you can donate here.
And if you are in Wellington, you’ll know we are all obsessed with cheese scones. I don’t know why, I don’t question why, but I do know that the best cheese scone is located firmly at Pickle and Pie. Here is a site dedicated to the rating of cheese scones in Wellington. It’s mostly correct.
Thanks for reading! I appreciate the time you spend here, and I hope this gave you a laugh or, at the very least, a reason to shirk your responsibilities and sign up for a lie down instead of some other meaningless crap. Future issues will be about general life stuff with humour, honesty, and a good portion of “I can’t be arsed.”
Reply to this newsy if you want to get in touch, or fire me an email direct to loudoreilly@gmail.com
Lou xx
The Pravda cheese scone is good, BUT Pravda is part of the Foley Hospitality Group, so I’d much rather spend my money elsewhere than support a Trump donor. Luckily we have heaps of other good scones to choose from!
You are correct about many things in this post, but especially about the cheese scones from Pickle & Pie. One would be perfect with the horizontally imbibed cup of tea.